Kazuma's Journal

1 week since the colony incident: July 30, 200SE

Saw Leo keeping a diary and thought it might be a good idea, if only to leave some sort of record should I go batshit or something. Man. Being a Newtype isn't as cool as they made it out to be in the old shows. Anyway. Caught something the PDA says is a Mamepato, named it Kushiel. Probably won't use it, but maybe Sparrow will think it's cute. Speaking of Sparrow, I'm really starting to wonder about her. The doctor said it was possible to, what the hell was it he said, be extra persuasive? If so, that'd explain why every Pokemon seems to love her - and maybe why her fear of Pokemon seems to switch on and off (since it'd be the sort of thing you'd try to hide, I guess). Note to self - don't let Tessa or Sam see this, they'll kill me. Better make sure Leo doesn't, either. Not that he cares much, I think. He's been spending most of his time worrying about the masks in TRE. I don't really see what the point is, myself. Leave that shit for the higher-ups.

Finally ended up dragged in for a physical today, too. Hoping I'm still within acceptable health levels, even with all the stress we've been going through. Hoping nothing at all comes up, really, but yeah, that's not going to happen. Maybe that doctor will be too busy looking for midichlorians or newtype genes or something to take a look at everything else. Speaking of, that doctor said Dad wrote a paper on newtypes when he was in college. Never mind that that was fucking forever ago, but why newtypes? Doesn't have a thing to do with agriculture, or low gravity, or the colonies. Might ask Dr. Mortimurtle for a copy of the paper later, can't ask Dad without having to explain way too much. Still need to find a way to tell Dad and Saeko I've been drafted. Would that make them worry more or less? Probably more. I'll think about this more later; it makes my head hurt. I've been sort of low on energy lately, but that's probably due to all the shit that's been going on. Think I'll spend my free time for a while kicking back and working on the Weissritter model I bought, instead of working out at the Gym.

Remi seems to be doing well; he trusts me enough to fight with me now (and won a match today). I should get Tessa to arrange a meeting between her Eevee and him sometime so they can get caught up, but she's in one of her weird moods again. I feel really bad for her - she's the one with all the weird powers and the psychic headaches - but can't say anything about it without her getting all snappish at me. Maybe I'll ask Sam to intervene on my behalf tomorrow. But then again, if I did she'd never shut up about it. No matter what she says, I'm not in love with Tessa or anything, I'm just…just worried, worried that she'll end up pulling away from us, and that she'll end up needing help and we'll never know it. Goddammit. Gonna stop writing now, this is making my head hurt.

Kazuma

Note for tomorrow: Ask gym leader about LN, or see if I can look through public records about same.


July 31st, 200SE

Well, goddamn. Everything's gone completely fucking wrong and the worst part of all is that it's my own goddamn fault.

First things first: Update on newtype shit courtesy of Dr. Turtle. Apparently, I can pick up certain Pokemon attacks and use them after getting hit with them. Zadkiel hit me with an Ice Punch, so now I can Ice Punch. Wears me out to do it though; I don't think I'll try it all that often. Not to mention it leaves my hands fucking freezing.

And now for the rest of it: After the battle in Ariel's tournament (Sam got the invite), we managed to end up all getting invitations to the party, thanks to the Captain, who looked about as happy to be there as I felt. Getting ready wasn't so bad (I had to wear a tie, but that was pretty much it) but when we got there….it was like getting caught in a goddamned strobe light factory. So many colors and lights…barely set foot on the grounds before I had a migraine. Asked Tessa how she dealt with hers - apparently she can sort of filter out the interference she's getting. Will have to ask Dr. Turtle about that later. For now, gonna stock up on painkillers and avoid large crowds. Anyway. We got there, I made an ass of myself, same old same old. Thank goodness for Sam, Leo, and the new guy - thanks to them, we managed to keep tabs on Ariel and learn more about Lady F. Speaking of, Ariel refused to help us - her loyalty to Lady F was greater than her desire to see her stopped, even knowing what she might do. Can't help but feel some sympathy for her - after all, I'd probably do the exact same thing were I in her place. Maybe.

…Probably. After all, my friends here are really all I have left.

Anyway. Party wore on, Leo can dance for some reason, and then Sam disappears. I take Remi to go look for her (because no one's gonna look funny at a little cat where they might at, say, Zadkiel), and we ended up on one of the balconies, because who the fuck knows where Sam decided to fuck off too, and then Ava shows up, as if the heavens themselves looked down on me and said HEY KAZUMA I DON'T THINK YOUR EVENING HAS BEEN FUCKING TERRIBLE ENOUGH YET SO WHY DON'T I MAKE IT WORSE. Anyway, she put Remi to sleep, and went and draped herself all over me…ugh. Don't want to think about it. Anyway, she told me a couple of important things. First, she still thinks I'm going to join TRE, second, she knew that all of us (not just Sam) were going to be at the party in time to get herself an invitation (check stuff for bugs again), and third, well. She knows of my mom, or at least claims to. Not discounting the possibility that she just yanked that out of my head, after all. Anyway, she gave me a deal - I join TRE, she tells me where my mom is.

Told her she could go fuck herself. After all, I certainly haven't needed anyone's help finding mom before, and I'm certainly not going to betray my friends and accept what only might be help from Ava of all people, just to continue what I've been doing. I've got more pride than that. I can do this on my own, if I have to. Definitely going to do it without TRE's help.

Anyway. Finally told the others about mom and what's going on, since it concerns them now. Most of them reacted like I thought they would - but Sam demanded to know why I didn't immediately drop everything and run off with Ava. Did she really think Ava was being entirely truthful? Did she think I'd put the lives of everyone I know here at stake just so I'd have a chance of finding out something I could find out on my own? Did she think I'd side with fucking TRE in a heartbeat? I'd think she'd have a little more faith in me, but apparently I'm mistaken. Which makes me wonder…what do they think of me? Leo, Tessa, hell, even Sparrow. Do they really see me as someone who'd betray them? Goddammit. I'm only trying to keep my problems to myself - everyone else has enough problems of their own. After all, my home didn't get blown up, I didn't get any more separated from my dad than I already was, etc, etc. - I don't have to give them anything else to worry about.

Fuck. My head is killing me. Gonna stop here, finish later. Need to grab something to eat, anyway.

Kazuma

—-

Later

Okay, let's get this finished with so I can get some sleep. Funny how only this morning we were full of confidence about how awesome we were, and now…well, I'm not the only one feeling broken here. Sam's taken it the worst, I think, but she was the one - well, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Anyway. After the party, we headed out to see if we could track down Lady F before she did something stupid like launch an attack on the colony or something. After a bunch of dicking about, we managed to find a way down to Ariel's family's private dock, and what should we find but a bunch of TRE grunts hauling crates of guns aboard a ship. After managing to get on board without anyone dying, we wandered around in circles freezing our asses off (the ship's temperature was set to roughly negative fuck you degrees) for a bit before I saw an orange mist rolling along the floor - Lady F's aura, apparently. Anyway, after determining that a) it in fact not a deathtrap and b) I was in fact the only one seeing it, which meant it was probably an aura, we followed it to the source, when we discovered something distressing.

Lady F is just a kid. Our age.

I can't believe it. Why the hell would TRE use a kid like her - someone who needs the temperature set to negative fuck you degrees just to keep from passing out - as a weapon? It makes me sick. Sick and worried. How do we know that the military isn't out to use Tessa and the others in the same way? We're just fucking pawns, and there isn't a thing we can do about it. If we leave the military, we lose our connection to the people who actually know how to keep us from going absolutely batshit, and I lose my chance of finding my mom. So, to sum up: stay in the military and become cannon fodder, but have a chance of finding my mom and/or getting revenge on TRE, or desert and get shot for being a traitor or shot for being a rogue AC or shot by TRE because we don't' have military protection any more, which means I can pretty much kiss the plans re: revenge or reunion goodbye. I can only imagine that Lady F - Freya - had something like that, something keeping her in TRE even if she wanted to leave.

Too bad I'll never know, because Sam decided 'tackling a sleeping girl' was a more appropriate action than anything, y'know, diplomatic. Maybe I'll see if I can get the new guy to talk us in to having a meeting with her, since he's actually military (while we're still basically civilians). Worth a shot in any case. I'll ask him tomorrow. As for now, I've got a tiny electric bug asleep on my neck, and I think I'm going to follow her example.

Kazuma


August 3

Been kind of busy these past few days, haven't had a chance to write much. Not much has been going on, in any case, so I'll keep it sort of short.

Re: Lady F - Turtle had her in some sort of tank that would keep her from succumbing to her own powers. That's good, but the fact that he seemed more interested in doing research on her than in helping her control her powers isn't. Maybe I'm being too hard on him though; I'm starting to get the idea that no one really knows anything about ACs; and that Turtle just happens to know a little more nothing than most people. In any case, when I went in yesterday for a checkup, I asked about Lady F, only to find out that she's been shipped off elsewhere for rehabilitation - a low-grav station. How many low-grav stations are there out there with a researcher of ACs working on them? I think it's about time to send a letter to dad. Ugh.

Re: my Pokemon: Malik doesn't show signs of having trouble adjusting to his new body; just to be safe, I've had him and Zadkiel doing extra work at the gym. I probably should have Armaiti and Remi doing exercises too, but they're small enough that their exercises can be done just about anywhere, and not just in the gym. I gave Kushiel to Leo, who could probably use him better than I could, and the new guy - Thompson - let me have the pokemon that hatched from his egg in exchange for mine. It's a little Torchic, which I named Arael, after 'the wings of heaven'. Adorable little guy - he and Armaiti are best friends already.

Re: myself: Turtle gave me a book on Aura users that might have more information on better ways of controlling the little problems I've been having - namely, the fact that just stepping outside gives me a migrane nowadays. I've been photographing each page and saving it in my PDA, but the work is fucking slow (and even more so because my life will be forfeit if I so much as bend a page). Hopefully after the trip back to 26, I'll have more time to do some actual studying.

Re: Everything else: We're heading back to 26 to salvage anything we want before the colony is taken down. I hope I manage to get through the day without making too big an ass of myself. Sparrow found out about her parents…don't know how to deal with that. I will stop by and see how they're doing tomorrow, though. Poor thing.

Kazuma


6/5

Whelp. Went back to 26 yesterday. Fun times, fun times. Helped Brian find his Magnemite, but afterwards he was acting really suspiciously when Leo told him to take it to the medical bay as fast as possible, and I can't be too careful now, so I reached out and, I don't know, I guess I read his mind, or tuned into his aura or I don't even know. Long and short of the matter is, he just wanted a chance to get a hold of himself without us watching. In other news, I feel like a dick. Ugh. At least he didn't seem to notice, but that doesn't really make me feel all that better. I shouldn't use that again, but I'll probably have to. Dammit.

Also: When I went back to my pad to pick up my gunpla collection, I found a Pokeball hiding in my pillowcase. Weird, right? I rushed back to the ship as soon as I could, but I really didn't have to worry - the pokemon inside was a Duskull. A red one. Since its Pokeball wasn't registered to anyone, I decided to take care of the little guy. It's weird, though. First, it's a pretty rare Pokemon species, and secondly, it has the shiny gene… I can't help but wonder who captured it and what happened to them. I could have sworn I felt someone watching me when I left my place, but I didn't see anything; maybe I'm just getting jumpy and paranoid. In any case, Char is mine now, and he's going to be a permanent member of my team, no matter what. Serves whoever abandoned him right.

Talked to Tom after lunch. He's not as completely devoted to the military as I thought he was, which is good. He's also willing to think of us as team mates, which is better. Gonna see if I can help him work things out with Sam.

Kazuma

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